why not?

i think i choose certain times to be sick. my nose flows like the freakin` nile river from 9 PM – whenever i sleep without choking on my mucus. hahah, great mental image right? but that’s been the least of my worries… i hate being uncertain! there are things that it’s alright to be uncertain about; what clothes to wear, where to eat, what kind of highlighter to use. then there are greater things – who your closest friends are, and then there are decisions to be made that’ll affect the course of your life forever.

i don’t think i’ve ever been so worried about my grades. it’s funny how all throughout high school, my only goal was to get into a good college. that’s why i volunteered and passed out water and ice at the hospital, why i studied so diligently for the SATs, why i spent so much time writing and perfecting my apps. but now that i’m actually in college, i feel the pressure to do well. haha, i thought i had this semester down. i thought that all i needed was a little effort and prayer to do well academically… i thought that was all i needed to do well, and then with james and God and friends and work, my life would be complete. haha, i guess God knows that i work better under pressure… and i guess He wants me to push myself and find new limits.

i know what He wants me to do, and i know that can go hand in hand with my profession. being a pharmacist means that i get to interact with people a lot… and lately i’ve been feeling that communicating with others is a talent that He gave me that i can really develop for His glory. i know it’s not going to be easy, and He’s not going to make college a breeze for me. i already feel stressed out by the workload and by certain people… and it’s only the second semester! but i just need to trust in Him and persevere and try my best… and He’ll provide for the rest. i’m sure of it!